#3074: Push Notifications

[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]

[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]

Happy April 1st (observed)!

To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!

Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.

Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.

Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.

Click this notification to learn more! (a circled arrow is shown)

“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?

There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.

So you just send a notification for each update, right?

That’s what we thought, too.

Click to continue! (a circled arrow is shown)

[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]

Sign: Emergency STOP

Below the sign: Halt ALL notifications and forget everything

The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.

You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.

The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.

This part definitely works.

The rest of the system does NOT work. (a circled arrow is shown)

We’re sorry.

We don’t know how things went so wrong.

The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.

We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.

Click here to ignore the warnings. (a circled arrow is shown)

No, really.

Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.

These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.

⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️

Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications. (a circled arrow is shown)

Are you sure?

Yes! (a circled arrow is shown)

Absolutely sure?

YES!! (a circled arrow is shown)

To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications

[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]

[Grey notification box, header:] April 1^st (Observed)

[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.

Laptop: [Warning sign.]

[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

[First page of messages]

Happy April 1^st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!

Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.

Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.

Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.

[Notification with 'onwards button':] Click on this notification to learn more

[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]

"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?

There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.

So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?

That's what we thought, too.

[Notification with 'onwards button':] Click on this notification to continue

[Next set of popover messages]

The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.

You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.

The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.

This part definitely works.

[Notification with 'onwards':] The rest of the system does not work.

[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop

[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]

We're sorry.

We didn't know how things went so wrong.

The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.

['Onwards' notification:] Click here to ignore the warnings

[Next set.]

No, really.

Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.

These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.

[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications

['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

[Just two popovers, initially]

Are you sure?

['Onwards':] Yes

[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]

Absolutely sure?

['Onwards':] Yes!!

[On clicking, a further popover]

[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

[...something appeared then dissappeared...]

[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]

Success!!

[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost

[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

[Further changes include the contents of the comic. The transcript for these changes is available on the Comic images section.]