#2877: Fever

[A table is shown with two columns with twelve rows. The columns are labeled and there is a heading above table:]

Treating a Fever

[Column labels]:

Fever

Treatment

38°C-40°C (100°F-104°F)

Fluids, rest, normal doctor stuff

40°C-45°C

Hospital, advanced doctor stuff

45°C-100°C

Exit that steam cloud immediately

100°C-400°C

Stop, drop, and roll

400°C-500°C

Return to Earth from Venus ASAP

500°C-1,500°C

Please climb out of that volcano

1,500°C-5,000°C

Turn your tunneling machine around and come back up to the surface

5,000°C-6,000°C

No, the surface of the Earth, not the Sun

6,000°C-50,000°C

Wait, that's not the Sun. What star are you visiting? Come back right now.

50,000°C-20,000,000°C

At least stay on the surface of the star instead of diving down to the core

20,000,000°C-10,000,000,000°C

You know, you could've picked a normal star instead of one that's exploding

10,000,000,000°C or higher

I hope you're enjoying your visit to the Big Bang but you should really come back home immediately