#2600: Rejected Question Categories

In What If? 2 (xkcd.com/whatif2), I answer ridiculous questions sent in by readers about everything from volcanoes to spaceships to soup.

Here are a few of the common types of question that I did not answer:

[In separate boxes for each category]

[In row 1:]

People cheating on homework: What if I made a pendulum by hanging a rock on a 2.75 meter string? What would its period be in seconds? (Show your work!)

Medical advice: What if you got a scratch and the next day your hand looks like this [📎 attachment]? Should you see a doctor or what?

Personal: Why don't the squirrels in my yard like me???

[In row 2:]

Spam: Do you want to meet lonely singles in your area tonight?

Phishing: Have you recently been the victim of phishing? To check, log in to your account by clicking here.

Requests for help with a crime: Using modern science, what would be the fastest way to get through this bank vault door? [📎 blueprints]

[In row 3:]

Unanswerable: Why am I me and not someone else

Vague: What is going to happen? (Be specific)

Vague+Ominous: Will I have to start worrying about spiders after Tuesday?

?????: Hi, we're lonely singles in your area, and we're wondering what would happen if we shot a nuclear bomb into a volcano! [partially cut off horizontally:] Click here to log in and tell us