#2369: All-in-One

XKCD comic, described below.
Transcript

[A large printer-like machine, with the label All-in-One Paper Processor on the top left of it. There are three columns of functions, with a few of them having a green light. At the top of the machine is a "paper feed" tray. At the bottom of the machine, is a large hole, for outputting the paper.]

Column 1

  • Print (lit green)
  • Copy
  • Fax (lit green)
  • Shred
  • Scan
  • Translate
  • Summarize
  • Plagiarize
  • Collate (lit green)

Column 2

  • Staple (lit green)
  • Remove staples
  • Add those perforated edge strips that are so fun to tear
  • Roll
  • Burn
  • Eat

Column 3

  • Fold airplane
  • Origami flower
  • Corrugate
  • Paper-mâché
  • Découpage
  • Notarize (lit green)
  • Biodegrade
  • Crumple and throw at trash like a basketball (lit green)


(Sourced from explainxkcd.com)

Changes with this update: If you use the combined scan-shred function, it now performs them in that order instead of the reverse, saving a HUGE amount of CPU time.

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