#1518: Typical Morning Routine

XKCD comic, described below.
Transcript

[[Darkness.]] <<BLEEP BLEEP>> Person 1: Urgh. Person 2: Your alarm is going off. Person 1: Huh? Person 2: Make it stop. Person 1: Urrgh. [[Still darkness.]] <<BLEEPEEP BLEEP BLEEP B>> Person 2: Hit snooze. Person 1: I'm trying. I closed the alarm app and I can't... I'll just pop out the battery. whoops! <<CLANG>> [[The light is on. Person one looks over the edge of the bed to see the vent on the floor is open.]] <<EEP BLEEP BLEEP BLE>> Person 2: Make it stop! Person 1: It... fell down the vent. [[Person 1 types on their laptop.]] <<EP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLE>> Person 2: Can you brick it remotely? Person 1: Trying... I think I fumbled it into airplane mode? Person 2: The battery could last for weeks. Person 1: You know, maybe we should just move.

Hang on, I've heard this problem. We need to pour water into the duct until the phone floats up and ... wait, phones sink in water. Mercury. We need a vat of mercury to pour down the vent. That will definitely make this situation better and not worse.

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